Stuck

I have been “retired” almost a year, and it seems like my current life has always been my life. I find it remarkable that I have adapted so readily to not having a schedule, that when I have to schedule something, it feels foreign and out of place. The heat doesn’t help, either, as all I want to do is hibernate in my (somewhat) cool house, coming out once the thermometer dips below 65° F. I had grand plans for my first year of retirement – I was going to write more (and get paid for it), work on my house, reduce my income requirements, and travel.

Writing has been sporadic, housework either manic or non-existent, and travel, well, what can I say about that? The furthest I’ve gone is Loma (30 minutes away), and even then it was only to deliver food. A few writing assignments have come my way (have trouble sleeping? Try this reading material), but nothing that I would say makes me a “published” author.  I have managed to reduce my income requirements, though, so there is that. While I have enjoyed not having a significant overhead where I have to slave away at a job that kills my soul, I have discovered the lack of direction and the life-draining duties of a regular 9 to 5 have left me a little stuck.

On the bright side, I did get to spend an entire month with my daughter when she came home, and my schedule allows me to care for my grandson once a week. If I want to pack up and go, as long as the roomie doesn’t mind caring for the dogs, I can. I just haven’t had the gumption to “pack up and go.”

When my children were growing up, I tried to teach them self-reliance. If they didn’t like something, or if they were unhappy with their current state, it was their job to fix it. No one else would take a stake in their happiness, so if they wanted a change, they had to be the change. As their mom, I felt it was my responsibility to live what a preached. I stayed at the “other” job for the stability and income it provided. Once my kids were out on their own, I followed my advice – I retired. It was time for me to put up or shut up, and so I did, which has led me to my current state of malaise and stuck-ness. 

That’s going to change, though. I want to travel and travel I will. The European Union (and even Canada) may be off-limits to me now, but my own country is not. So in October, I will load up Harvey (my car) and hit the road. Plans are still in the initial stage, but I know the trip involves a visit to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I’ll explore and try to discover what draws my roomie there every year, and maybe I’ll even get to see the Northern Lights in the process. After I’ve toured around a bit, I’ll drop down to Chicago and visit my daughter and her boyfriend, and then maybe I’ll head to Pennsylvania to see my Mumsly. Who knows where I’ll end up. Half the fun is in the planning, anyway. And why not? I am, after all, retired.